


Sunlight in Darkness

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Enemy Lovers, First Love, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Requited Unrequited Love, This is just painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: Hubert reflects that he may be straying too close to the sun, and too far from Lady Edelgard's side
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Sunlight in Darkness

Hubert walked a path. He walked it beside his future emperor, serving faithfully by her side. He was honored to be her trusted vassal, and as such, there was no place he would have rather been.

And then there was Ashe.

Ashe did not walk along this path. He followed in the footsteps of the future king of Faerghus. An enemy of the Empire, if Dimitri did not agree with Lady Edelgard’s mission. As he very likely wouldn’t.  
Ashe was bound to Faerghus, desperately desiring knighthood to be just like the heroes in those silly books he spent his time reading.

Yet they didn’t feel silly when Ashe spoke of them. Impractical, yes. A waste of time, most certainly. But silly? No, nothing could be silly when spoken of with such passion.

Ashe was a beacon. The rising sun to wipe away all the inky tracks night left behind. He hurt those such as Hubert to look directly at.

Yet whenever they were paired for some sort of chore, as they often were these days, Hubert looked.  
Soft silver hair, shining green eyes, a dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose, and a smile that shone brighter than a sunbeam.  
How could someone be this happy when cleaning the stables?

“Hubert?” Ashe interrupted his thoughts, concern etched into his face. How Hubert loathed that expression.  
Ashe held a broom in one hand, reins in the other, his hair mussed from work, sweat, and more than a few flicks from a horse’s tail. Dirt had ended up all over his face. Hubert ignored his urge to wipe it away.

“Yes?” Hubert asked, curtly. He couldn’t get too friendly with his future enemy. No matter his treacherous desire, he couldn’t give into his wants. His desire for Lady Edelgard’s dream to come to fruition far outweighed his desire to know Ashe better.  
He already knew more than was safe.

“Ah, sorry! You just seemed so far away...I was wondering if you were still in Fódlan or if you’d floated somewhere else!” Ashe chuckled, breathily. He was embarrassed by his words, yet he’d said nothing particularly incriminating.  
“Of course. I am quite obviously still here.” He couldn’t respond with the retorts he had piling up.

It would not do to develop a rapport.

“R-Right! Um, well, do you think you could fetch the brush? I have my hands full,”  
As if confirming his statement, the horse whickered, softly, reaching up to nibble on Ashe’s hair.  
“Agh! Dorte! Please don’t do that!” Ashe gently pushed the horse’s head away from his hair.

“Right away.” Hubert answered. 

Why he’d been put on stable duty, he would never know. Professor Manuela had a knack for asking him to perform tasks with Ashe. As though she knew his thoughts whenever he gazed upon Ashe.  
He only complied because Lady Edelgard asked him to obey any orders from their professor. He would do so without hesitation.

Hubert stained his hands in crimson near weekly. He committed atrocious acts in service of his lady without a flinch, murdered anyone without discrimination.  
Why was cleaning the stables with a Blue Lion his most arduous task yet?

Hubert fetched Ashe the brush, careful not to let their hands touch as he handed it over. Any sign of weakness was one too many.

“Thank you!” Ashe rejoiced. “Could you take this and work on sweeping out Dorte’s stable while I brush him? Don’t take this too personally, but I think you scare him.”  
Ashe seemed to realize what he said, his cheeks dusting with a soft pink that irritated Hubert to no end. Was it intentional?  
“I mean! He’s a very nervous horse! Just about everyone scares him! Only a handful of people don’t!” Ashe rushed, tripping over his words. It only served to annoy Hubert further. It had to be intentional.  
Yet he played his part. It was his duty.

“Do not worry. Many are scared of me.” Was all Hubert said. He turned to begin sweeping, not expecting another word from Ashe on the matter.  
“I’m not.”

Ashe continued to surprise him.

Hubert paused, turning to meet Ashe’s eyes. Given their distance, he didn’t have to incline his head to meet his eyes. A welcome change.

“An unexpected rebuttal.” Hubert commented. He would let no emotion show in his voice.  
“W-Well, I mean...you’re a person just like the rest of us! I think people think you’re not human, but that’s not true. You’re a human, and a very kind one at that!”  
Hubert let a twisted chuckle spill from his lips, as if to intimidate Ashe. Yet it did nothing to dampen the brightness in his eyes.

He hurt to look at. Hubert looked away.

“I couldn’t have guessed you would think of me as kind. I would have thought the opposite.”  
“Well, at first, it was. But over these past few moons, I’ve learned that’s your version of kindness. It’s a little different from some, but kindness all the same.”  
Hubert didn’t have to look at Ashe to know he was smiling. How infuriating.

“I see…”

A moment of silence passed between them, Ashe having nothing more to say, Hubert not daring to say anything else.  
But something occurred to him.  
Lady Edelgard had a plan, a plan that would likely clash with Faerghus. That didn’t mean it had to go against _Ashe._

“Ashe, I must ask you something.” Hubert spoke up. It would go nowhere. Yet hope dared to bloom in his chest.  
“Anything! What is it?” Ashe’s eagerness served only to water the seed.  
“Have you considered transferring to Professor Manuela’s class? I think there would be much for you to learn within our classroom’s walls.”

It felt as though time stopped. Nothing and no one dared to breathe. Hubert didn’t dare to look at Ashe for an unfavorable reaction.

“I’ve considered it. More than a few of you are my friends, and all of you seem like nice people! Princess Edelgard is a wonderful leader! But...I’ve made too many friends in Blue Lions to transfer. Everyone is so kind to me…”  
“I understand. I would not transfer if asked, either.” Yet the words felt like gravel in his mouth.  
He couldn’t look over. Couldn’t see the fondness on Ashe’s face as he spoke of his housemates.

Hubert had tried to grab hold of the sun and had gotten burned. Shadows never touch the light.  
He should have known that.  
Yet getting burned for trying felt better than never knowing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The battlefield was silent as the warrior approached him, clad in blue and clutching a wickedly sharp sword. Almost imperceptibly, the metal trembled.  
Hubert clutched his wound, blood seeping out between his fingers. Someone had placed a silencing spell on him. He could not cast a spell at the warrior to save his life.  
For that would, indeed, be why he would cast it at all.

Hubert didn’t know when he had fallen to his knees, but here he was, for once, staring up into the face of a boy - no, a man - he’d once known.

The last of the youthful roundness in his face had fallen away; ghosts now dwelled inside his eyes. His hair was longer, tucked behind his ears, and he was far taller than Hubert remembered him being.  
But the pattern of freckles across his nose was one Hubert would never forget. And though it was muted with sadness, Ashe’s smile still shone brighter than any star ever observed.

“I could still kill you if you got close,” Hubert rasped, twisted grin forcing its way onto his face.  
Ashe shook his head, stepping closer.

“I’m faster than you and you know it.” Ashe replied. He dropped to his knees as well, mere centimeters away from Hubert.  
Looking at him still ached like staring into the sun. Hubert had long ago put words to the feeling, but they were words he never dared give voice to.  
“I wish it hadn’t ended like this.” Ashe murmured.

“Neither do I,”

Ashe reached out, movements guarded yet gentle, and put his hand to Hubert’s face. He pushed the hair out of Hubert’s eye.  
It was some twisted sort of punishment, allowing Hubert full view of his smile, sorrowful as it was.  
His hand fell down to stroke Hubert’s cheekbone with his thumb.

“I’ve thought about doing that for years, and I can’t believe this is when I’ve chosen to do it.” Ashe laughed at himself without a bit of humor.  
“If you don’t kill me, I will return again and again.” Hubert didn’t quite know why he said it. As a warning? As a threat?  
“I know, I know. Please just...let me have this for a moment…”

Hubert could hear the calls of Ashe’s allies, searching for their archer. But in this moment, Ashe’s attention was devoted entirely to him. He’d _longed_ for this.  
“I always thought you were the anti-hero. Strong, dark, yet loyal and kind when you get past the surface. And I still think you are. I just didn’t think I’d be the villain in your story. Or that you’d be the villain in mine.”  
Hubert denied how his heart shattered and stayed silent, letting Ashe speak.

“I think I’ve...well. It’s a little late for declarations of love, isn’t it?”

Hubert glanced towards the ground, unable to meet Ashe’s eyes for a moment longer. It was what he’d been wanting to hear.

Ashe’s hand moved up to cup his neck, tangling in the strands of hair that rested there. His touch was everything Hubert had craved. He had always thought he would receive that touch in happier times.  
He couldn’t conceive this.

Ashe rested his forehead against Hubert’s. It would be so easy to draw the concealed dagger and stab Ashe through the stomach.  
Yet he didn’t. He couldn’t. With how much he’d bled, it would only be killing the both of them.  
Ashe didn’t deserve to die. He never had.

“Maybe if things had been different, I would have told you sooner. Maybe we’d be celebrating _our_ victory, now.”  
“It does not do to dwell on maybes.” It was a task to say. But he said it, for both himself and Ashe.

Hubert lifted his free hand, reaching into his pocket. Ashe tensed, but didn’t move away.   
He was right. Ashe was faster. An assassination attempt in his current state would be foolish.

Instead, he produced a letter. A letter he penned on a lonely night. A letter he had only begun carrying when he spotted Ashe on the battlefield.  
He didn’t need to give an explanation for the letter. Ashe knew.

Without another word, Ashe pulled Hubert close. Just as Hubert got to take in Ashe’s scent, face burying in his shoulder, he felt the sword.  
The pain didn’t register. Or maybe he didn’t want to feel it. But he slumped, regardless, bringing both arms to hold Ashe for the first - and last - time.

“I’m sorry.” Came Ashe’s whisper.

Hubert didn’t open his eyes. After all, he didn’t want to view what was happening to him.  
He had flown too close to the sun, without having wings to carry him. It was only natural, after all.  
Shadows were not supposed to touch the light.


End file.
